written pieces:
I, Senator Schumer, Vote to let the big wooden horse into troy [mcsweeney’s]
I VOW TO FIGHT AUTOCRACY WITH UNPRECEDENTED LEVELS OF FINGER WAGGING - by chuck schumer [Mcsweeney’s]
why Yes, This Human Internment Camp Did Used to Be a Topgolf [Mcsweeney’s]
Top 12 Post-Birth Abortion Methods [Mcsweeney’s]
I, Elon Musk, Will Pay $47 to Anyone Who Can Figure Out What’s Wrong with Me [mcsweeney’s]
Math Problems from Oklahoma’s New Conservative Curriculum
ted cruz’ yearbook superlatives [robot butt]
Racehorses Keep Dying on our Track & We won’t rest till we Find the Colt Responsible for the Murders
God’s debut Column for NyTimes.com [points in case]
The Candidate Vlad the Impaler Ran Against Was a Little Too ‘Establishment’ for Me
We Didn’t Start The Fire 2075
7 Scorching Hot K-pop Acts You NEED to Check Out RN
Let’s Put the ‘Glee’ in Late-Stage Capitalism
Alt Lines for the Climactic Final Scene of The Rock
audio sketches:
World’s strongest Man: Cruelty to animals edition